About This Project

The Search for Meaning

My own search for meaning began many years ago when I was a teenager with an existential crises. I cannot remember exactly what part of my life I found most fearful. I know I wanted to love someone or something but was too timid to get close enough to anyone for love to happen. I know the idea of death frightened me. A friend had, around that time, died in a motorbike accident. I considered looking into the idea of God to help resolve my fears but hesitated over and over again. Eventually love moved into my life by moving into the bedsit opposite mine. And then, one afternoon, I walked into a church, sat down and asked the stone-wrapped silence: ‘What is this thing called faith and what is God?’ There was no answer. Which is quite significant. And, in its way, quite wonderful. In this non-answer, the path to a meaningful life opened up before me, although I was quite unaware of it at the time.

Sometime before walking into that church, I spent a day with a group of Krishna followers. We talked, ate food and celebrated. I was invited to embrace their teachings and become a devotee. Had I done so my life would have turned out a lot different. I didn’t because I felt called to love in another way.

It will be impossible to write this book without relating it to my life. Not that my life is particularly interesting but the path I have followed is the path of engagement-with-the-world. If I try to dissect the spiritual and religious experiences from my life and then try to put those experiences into words detached from their original contexts this book would turn out to be just another exercise in academic writing.

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